Once trust is broken, it takes years to rebuild, but the years go by very quickly. Rebuilding a couple’s emotional bond and creating a new and sound foundation allows partners to develop trust toward one another, and once again I say that time is of the essence. It can only happen over time. Couples come in with huge amounts of anger; but they still love each other. I ask them: “do you feel any love for your partner”? I love it, when the betrayed partner says: “you just do not stop loving someone overnight”. That is a home run for me and tells me to keep educating them about the vows that they took or should have taken by now. I continue to teach them a unique set of skills and techniques that they must practice over the next six weeks.
We start to fit the pieces into the puzzle and very often one partner breaks down crying when they retell their life story. Often, the remorseful partner shows so much remorse and sadness for having done harm to their marriage/relationship. Spouses/partners, after finishing the exchange of their “life stories,” become empowered by undergoing a catharsis. The cathartic effect is a result of facing and sharing their past realities by the retelling of their past traumas so they can put closure on that chapter of their life. Once my couples undergo a catharsis, they can forge ahead and work on creating a committed relationship that has shared meaning, is more fulfilling and allows for trust to be rebuilt over time. Getting a fresh start and not referring to their past problems which almost broke them up, stops them from traveling down parallel lanes and their lives begin to intersect emotionally and then physically. This is what must happen before “a couple will cleave to one another and their flesh will be bound and become one”.
Relationship issues are bound to happen, but when problems grow too big, relationship counseling can be the solution. A licensed professional will be able to help involved parties better understand each other. If you have already married your SO, the therapist may also be able to provide marriage counseling. This has many of the same aims as normal relationship counseling, though it also acknowledges the issues that are unique to married couples. Those who are seeking help can find one by contacting a relationship counselor here at Riverdale Therapy & Counseling Services in The Bronx, NY. For the best Relationship Issue Counseling in The Bronx, NY call Riverdale Therapy & Counseling Services today!
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